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I was talking to this bird
and he was really pissed off.
He's like, man, this year
I'm doing shit different.
I'm flying north for the winter.
And I'm like, do you really
think that's a good idea,
and he says,
"You got a better one?"
So I say, "Fly south?"


He looked at me
with equal parts rage,
disappointment, and disgust,
then shot straight off
into the grimacing sky,
rocketing north,
leaving nothing behind
but a big splattering of poop
on my right cheek ...


I'm not sure if he'll survive
the Canadian wilds and
make it back come springtime.
But if he does,
I'ma get even with him.


But just between you and me,
I respect that bird.